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Rules for Dog Parents from The Chief:
* I will not bathe my dog after he bathes himself in the mud puddle.
* I will not push my dog away when he wants a hug after playing in a mud puddle.
* I will not complain "My arm is tired" after only throwing the ball 20 times.
* I will not confuse my dog by throwing snowballs for him to fetch.
* I will not ask my dog to play fetch with a boomerang.
* I will not drag my dog away from the interesting sniffing spots.
* I will drop whatever I'm doing and take my dog out as soon as he asks me to.
* I will not tell my dog to hurry up already when he's looking for just the right spot to take care of business.
* I will not stare while my dog is doing his business.
* I will not feed the cat before I feed my dog.
* I will get rid of that cat.
* I will not bring home any more cats.
* I will never eat until my dog has tasted what I have and approved it for me.
* I will share everything I eat with my dog.
* I will not leave my dog at home any time I go in the car.
* I will allow my dog on the couch.
* I will protect my dog from that obnoxious little human thing at all times.
* I will not have another of those obnoxious little human things.
* I will not hide my dog's ball in a place where I know he couldn't possibly retrieve it from and then ask him to go get it.
* I will not take shredded, soggy, yummy tennis balls away from my dog.
* I will not sneak around the backyard wearing funny clothes to test whether my dog is a good watchdog.
* I will stop referring to my dog's necklace as her "collar."
* I will not cut my dog's nails.
* I will not abandon my dog for trivial reasons like "going to work".
* I will not wake my dog when I come home from work.
* I will not come home from work and feel the sofa to see if it is still warm from where my dog was sleeping "illegally".
* Bad weather is no excuse for not walking my dog.
* I will open the back door as soon as my dog sits by it.
* I will not laugh at my dog for being confused over not being able to find the lump of ice that he buried earlier.
* I will not run out of treats.
* I will always carry cookies and treats.
* I will not make my dog wear silly-looking antlers or red hats.
* I will not make my dog pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.
* I will not tie leftover ribbons and bows all over my dog.
* I will not use decorations like tinsel that could be dangerous to my dog.
* I will try much harder to understand my dog's language.
The "Chief" Dog.
Has his own set of "Laws"